Quest For Adulthood

So i’ve finally graduated from university with a 2:1, God knows how. I felt like throughout all my time at uni that I was just coasting by, forever leaving things till the last minute (which I learned that everyone does, even the smart people). I’m incredibly happy with my grade, I know in the back of my mind that I could’ve gotten a better grade if I really applied myself but who doesn’t? With this in mind, I do feel like if I applied myself more and spent more time working on projects at uni that I wouldn’t have had the amazing time that I did. I went to a festival with all my friends on the edge of a cliff, I went to many a weird party on a farm and went to a few of those house parties that you see on American TV where there are wall to wall people. Although hectic, I learned a lot more life experience while I was there than I did about Journalism, but isn’t that the idea of university?

Now here I am, sat in the dining room under my Dad’s roof blogging about being an adult when really, i’m so far from it. Now is the time that I structure myself a plan for my future and make use of what i’ve learned. Most of that is literally saving up and moving to “the big smoke” in a shit load of months. In times like this, I feel like you need to consolidate all that you have, see what your positives are in your life and use them to propel yourself forward in the shape of a job and future prospects.

I’m currently working as a Front of House member at a restaurant called Wagamama’s. Which is Japanese for “naughty child”, weird huh? So whilst working as a naughty child member serving food and sitting people down at their tables, wondering when my time comes to trade shoes with the customers, I make the best of my week by fitting in gym time and social time making sure that all work and some play makes Andy a happy person. I feel like this is what you should be doing too! Yes, you my reader(s). We, as graduates, employees, PEOPLE, should make time for ourselves and make ourselves better people. Without sounding like a preacher, I feel like this is how we, as the human race will produce positive results for ourselves! Apart from this, we should always think about our future and what’s ahead of us. Yes, it’s all well and good saying “live for the now, think about tomorrow when it comes” but your life only comes to fruition with a bit of planning and a whole lot of effort.

Moving on from all my Ghandi talk, i’m now on my quest for adulthood. But I don’t really know what adulthood means. By book, i’m technically an adult when I turn 21 (which was in June), but I don’t feel any different, if anything I feel more depressed now that my student discount was revoked from me (sad face).

What i’m saying is, adulthood comes whenever you feel ready, it’s not a label that should be sprung upon you lightly but it’s a label that, to me, means something. It means you’ve made something of yourself as a person, isn’t that what life is about?


Random Thought Vomit

Apart from my job, I guess you could say I feel a little bit lonely at the minute. I don’t know whether it’s because i’m missing people or if I just don’t have the time at the minute to just stop and think to myself. I’m sacrificing things I don’t want to but I feel like I need to cut my losses in order to move forward.

I’m struggling to find satisfaction in a lot of things right now, I know that it’s gonna take months for me to save up to move to London and be with people I love but i’m just finding it hard to get by these days knowing that it’s gonna take so long, you know?

Satisfaction comes rare to me, I think. It feels like I can just never be happy with what I have. I’m literally hundreds of miles away with the one person I wanna be with everyday but all I keep thinking is that if we were to be together everyday, they wouldn’t be happy. It’s probably not the case, but i’ve been told i’m a “people pleaser”. What’s wrong with that though? What’s wrong with wanting people to be happy around you? If people are happy around you, you’d be happy in return yes?

I just have this never ending inevitability feeling. Does that make sense? I just never feel secure in what I do, it’s horrible. Feels like there’s never anybody that wants to hear my shit. Nobody that wants to hear me drone on about shit. People just generally tune out when I talk. Although I guess I would too. And because nobody wants to hear my shit, I tend to push them away and thus end up by myself.

I’ll leave you with this song which has been keeping me going. Every single word is what I feel right now, as cringey as that sounds. Go look them up or something.


Resting In Peace: A Tribute to Robin Williams

This blog post is dedicated to a man that single handedly filled my childhood with laughter, joy and fulfilment. A man who was widely respected and admired by many. But most of all, an icon who led many of our lives as children. Rest in peace Robin Williams.

First of all, let me say that this isn’t going to be one of those posts where I talk about what Robin did in his life and how it should be respected, but more of a post about death and how people we don’t even know can have such an effect on our lives both as adults and then, as children.

Back in the 90’s when I was just a young boy with no idea what depression was, all I knew was what made me happy and how I wanted to achieve it. Most of this were through Robin’s films, mainly ‘Mrs. Doubtfire’. Like many, I was one of those kids that sat in front of the television and laughed at Robin’s portrayal of one of the coolest old ladies ever. ‘Mrs. Doubtfire’ was one of my favourite childhood films that I can still watch now and be thoroughly entertained.

Following on from that, ‘Jumanji’, ‘Flubber’ and the heartbreaking ‘Jack’. It’s clear that Robin’s films were incredibly iconic and it is no wonder he has made such an effect on social media and news in this past 24 hours.

What was most heartbreaking, however, were those select few people on Twitter and Facebook that go for the outspoken opinion and attempt to rile people up just for the sake of not “jumping on the bandwagon”. Robin Williams was a childhood hero of many of people from the 90’s generation and a person that we all familiarise ourselves with being young, how people can say a bad word or anything negative about someone passing away is beyond me. At the end of the day, however someone has passed away, people are going to be at a loss. Whether it be their immediate family or their millions of fans around the globe. Death should not be a simple subject to discuss nor should people attempt to do anything for self gain when death is the subject. It’s sickening.

Moving on… Like Robin, Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson were both my childhood icons of whom I looked up to and admired so much that when they passed away, I was genuinely saddened, not that they died, but that I won’t hear any new material or I won’t see any more of their work in my life anymore. Sure, their “teams” will still release posthumous albums and movies but it won’t be that new stuff that you crave when you see a shift in society and you wanna see how they react to it in their work.

Luckily, we still have another four films of Robin’s to be released from which he previously recorded his parts to. But like I said before, we’re never going to see him on chat shows or interviews ever again, which is the most saddening part.

Although we never knew these people, icons such as Robin Williams, Amy Winehouse, Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston made an impact on many peoples lives and nobody, not me or you, are to judge someone for how that affected them, we don’t have the right. So let people be and let our hero’s rest in peace.

Rest in peace Robin, you shaped my childhood and made me happy. My fellow 90’s kids and I can never thank you enough.

“No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.” – Robin Williams

Jam of the Day, Music

Today’s Jam: Otis Redding – Try A Little Tenderness

It’s been a long time since I listened to music like this. Reminds me of my childhood when my mum used to play Otis Redding, Nina Simone and Ben. E. King when she would clean the house or drive us around in the car.

A lot of people will recognise this song as it was sampled in Jay-Z and Kanye West’s song ‘Otis’.